“Embrace the Mess that You Are” — Elizabeth Gilbert

Usually when people ask me how I am doing I say something like “oh, holding it together”, or “”well thank-you” or I smile and shrug because with 3 month old twins, it seems to sum it up. More specific than just the ol’ how are you? Occasionally people will ask ‘how is life with twins?”. Lately I half joke “we just kinda rotate throughout the day which one of us is crying” and then I kind of wimper chuckle like its only a little true.
Wednesday was definitely one of those days. With the Hubs gone to a meeting and Buster at cubs, I thought Lady and I would try out a quick recipe I found on Pinterest. I’m the worst at meal planing (hey ho resolution #317 for 2015), so of course didn’t have all the ingredients and even now looking back on it, I think I only just looked at the picture and didn’t even read the recipe until after the fact.

It came together pretty easy. The Rice Krispie square recipe was no problem, except I didn’t really measure the butter and probably should have. No marshmallow fluff in the pantry? I can make that stuff right? And I never have 6 chocolate bars just sitting around because, well, 6 turns into five into 4…I’m sure you can see where this is going. So I made up some icing-like deliciousness out of cocoa, peanut butter (who doesn’t like peanut butter and chocolate???) milk and icing sugar.
I spread the layers together and oh Dina! There was marshmallow stickyMess Ever. Y. Where. Licking my fingers I rolled it up and put it into the fridge while the Lady got ready for bed.
After 15 minutes we took it out and sliced into it. This treat was so tasty. So gooey. So soft and sweet. But so SO messy and ugly and hard to eat . And then I heard that recurring voice in my head. You know the one from finding Nemo? not the “Just keep swimming Just keep swimming” one that should be my mantra these days. This one:

And then while everyone else went to bed, it was my turn to cry. Because after a day of shrinking a good sweater in the dryer and losing patience with my kids again and another day of not fitting in a workout, and feeling like I spent my day failing over and over, it was not at all the success I needed.
But then something happened during the night. The roll set up. When I cut into it for breakfast- yup, a nice thick slice of Rice Krispie and marshmallow at 8am is how we sometimes roll around here- it wasn’t so sticky anymore and it was round! Like the picture!

And it made me think. Being a mom to two little babies at once while trying to give my other kids and my husband what they need and still maintain a sense of self and have a shower is a messy and sticky process. And it’s often ugly and doesn’t look like I want it to because it’s impossible to totally follow someone else’s recipe road map for their life. I have to work with what I have in my proverbial pantry. And sometimes I don’t choose the best ingredients the first time. And sometimes I should have measured better. And sometimes I should actually follow instructions instead of forging ahead with little more than a glance. And even though my life has these pockets that are soft and sweet, I get hung up on how it looks and how hard it is but given enough time, it gets better and those things that make it less fun will work themselves out eventually. I just need to give it (me) time.

And I’m learning. So here’s take 2. This recipe really is so good. Not too sweet but that squishy marshmallow swirl in the middle and the crunchy Rice Krispies play together for such a fun texture balance. The Peanut butter is not super dominant, it just adds a bit of depth. This is a simple recipe that is so fun to eat, is perfect for little hands to help with and somehow slicing into a roll feels so much fancier than cutting into a pan of squares.
I think it would also be good with caramel instead of chocolate, or a Nutella layer….

Rice Krispie Swirl

5 cups mini marshmallows
1/4 cup butter
6 cups rice krispies
—melt together the marshmallows and the butter in the microwave for 2 minutes stirring after the first minute
add the cereal and stir.
Place a sheet of parchment paper on a cookie sheet and with wet hands, pat down and spread the mixture to cover the area. Place in fridge to cool (or if you’re me and its January and you live in Edmonton, place it on your back step!)

Chocolate Layer
1/3 cup Peanut Butter
1/3 cup Icing sugar
2 Tbsp Cocoa
2 Tbsp milk
1/3 cup chocolate chips (the wax in these helps firm it up)
—Melt these together in the microwave stirring after each 30 seconds and spread over the Krispie layer. cool.

Marshmallow Fluff
—Combine and place in microwave for 1 minute
3 cups marshmallows
1 1/2 Tbsp corn syrup
Spread this over the chocolate layer. Don’t worry about getting right to the sides because it will spread as you roll.

Then pulling the parchment out as you go, roll it up like a cinnamon bun. Cover in plastic wrap and cool in your fridge for a bit before slicing.

Rice Krispie Roll ups

To view the recipe that started this all visit http://www.pinterest.com/pin/81487074482599541/